Ten Tips for Tackling Jealousy and Competition among Friends in 2022

What do you do when you feel like you’re getting left behind by your friends, the people you admire most in the world?

 It can be painful to watch your friends achieve success without you and get together with them frequently in ways that may exclude you. 

If any of this sounds familiar, take heart—there are steps you can take to combat jealousy and competition among friends, even in 2022.

 Here are ten tips for tackling jealousy and competition among friends in 2022.

Recognize what triggers your feelings

If you’re jealous of another friend’s success, it’s important to recognize what triggers these feelings.

 Are you coveting your colleague’s promotion because he or she has been hardworking, reliable, and helpful? 

Or are you jealous that your colleague is getting a salary raise when you feel like you deserve one too?

 It’s okay to be envious—everyone feels that way from time to time—but if you find yourself feeling envious often, it might be worth examining why. 

Make sure jealousy isn’t masking other emotions, such as fear of failure or inadequacy. Remember: 

You can only control how you act toward others; don’t let envy get in the way of celebrating their achievements.

 Understand why it happens

You might not be jealous or competitive by nature, but it’s easy to feel threatened when you’re spending time with a group of people who are.

 Sometimes even just one person can set off feelings of jealousy or competition—like if your best friend is talented at a skill you wish you had, or if your new boyfriend is making more money than you are.

 It may help to realize that we all have these feelings from time to time; we’re only human!

 The key is learning how to cope with them effectively.

 Communicate your feelings and be honest 

When you feel yourself getting jealous or envious of a friend’s promotion, salary, or vacation home, instead of acting out on those feelings by acting bratty or resentful, communicate your feelings to that friend. 

Let him know how you feel (preferably when things are not super-heated). Be straight with him—tell him exactly what you think. 

Then ask him how he feels about his new situation. It may be awkward at first, but it’s important to understand where both of you stand. 

And if he doesn’t want to talk about it? That’s fine too; just try again later.

 It can be hard at first, but once you get used to communicating your feelings honestly, it gets easier and more natural over time. I

n fact, after a while, you might even find that you enjoy being able to express yourself so clearly! 

 Take time out 

Simply talking to a friend or loved one can be a great way to work through feelings of jealousy.

 Allow yourself time each day to process what’s going on, then make sure you discuss it with someone who cares about you. I

f they don’t listen, find someone else – people who make us feel good are worth their weight in gold.

 It may also help to remind yourself that we all experience emotions like these from time to time; there’s no shame in feeling jealous now and again. 

What matters is how we respond: by understanding our feelings, acknowledging them as normal, and doing something productive about them. 

 Get off social media 

There’s no doubt that social media is a big reason why we compare ourselves to our friends.

 Spending too much time on social media can amplify these feelings of jealousy—

we see our friends doing cool things or hanging out with great people, which makes us feel unhappy about ourselves, so we scramble to keep up by posting more or engaging on social media even more. 

It’s easy to get sucked into a downward spiral like that. The best thing you can do? 

 Listen to music or watch a movie

Maybe even something funny. 

It will give you a chance to relax and forget about your friends’ successes, achievements, connections, or opportunities. 

Try to remind yourself that those things don’t make you any less of a person—they just might be out of your reach right now.

 Just take some time to breathe; you are where you are meant to be. Soon enough, we all have our own moments! 

 Switch your thinking from negative to positive 

Are you envious of a friend or colleague’s success? 

What are you doing to be successful, too?

 Keep your eyes on your own actions, rather than fixating on what other people have.

 Instead of dwelling on what others do well, think about how you can improve yourself.

 This way, you won’t just focus on what they have that you don’t—you’ll also remember that there are things they don’t have that you do. 

Focusing on your own progress will help keep jealousy at bay.

 Stay busy with other things 

When you notice that you’re feeling envious or jealous, avoid any temptation to allow those feelings to control your behavior.

 Instead, distract yourself by engaging in another activity—take a walk with a friend, pick up a new hobby or read a book. 

The more you can stay busy, focusing on doing things that make you happy, rather than spending time focused on what other people are doing that makes them happy—

the less likely it is that jealousy will take hold of your life.

 Realize that everyone experiences this feeling at some point, even those closest to you

Everyone is susceptible to jealousy at some point.

 It’s a human emotion that comes about when we want something someone else has, or when we feel our value is being threatened by another person. 

For example, if your friend gets engaged before you do, it’s natural to feel jealous of their relationship or to wish they had experienced certain hardships so they would have been less ready to tie the knot. 

 Don’t make assumptions about how people feel based on what they say. They may act differently than they speak.

Listen to how someone is speaking. Are they saying one thing, but their tone or facial expression is saying something different?

 If so, how do you feel when your friend or family member says something positive about someone else?

 What do you think might be motivating them to say nice things about other people while making a negative comment about you or another family member?

 Can you point out these types of situations to your friend and ask him/her if there’s more to their comment than what he/she said directly?